tales from the rock

my never ending quest to hire a subordinate continues, and it appears the only way to make this happen here is to lower the bar substantially.  this doesn’t mean hiring losers, but it may mean waiting for a superstar to emerge is not realistic.  the person we bring on just won’t have as many tools to work with.

the challenge for me then is to determine which attributes you can give up on, without it being an indicator that their overall value is seriously diminished.  it’s the difference between having a dull blade that can be sharpened, or one that is just made out of wood or plastic, which really limits your capacity for bloodshed.

I’ve also learned the truth about the ‘I can pick up that language if I need it’ lie.  maybe you can pick up the syntax and grammar, but things like best practices, patterns, etc., are things no book or website will give you.  you need to work with people that are good, and even then, you need a strong fundamental base of understanding.  if your start in this field was hacking webpages as the ‘techy guy’ in your old job, I don’t care what else you taught yourself to do all by yourself - chances are, it’s all a big mess.

the biggest issue I have with all the candidates I have seen so far, is that I never make it to the google question.

the google question used to be the microsoft question - those brain teasers you would ask to check problem solving ability, or just problem diagramming skills.  or, you could ask very obscure technical questions (implement strcpy) to see where their base of knowledge lies.  the biggest problem with these questions (among the best candidates), is that everyone has already heard them, and/or everyone has just gotten good at solving brain teasers.  google has since moved to more open ended, solution-less questions (how many phonebooks are there in the seattle area), but even then, once you know not to panic, there is almost no way to outright fail.

you can always ask someone if the know why a solution works (such as the balls and scale question, etc.), but if they don’t know the answer, what have you really learned?  they don’t pursue useless knowledge?  it’s a plus if the do, it’s not a minus if they don’t.

these people though - whew.  I’m stumping them with doozies like, “How can you set up 2 batch jobs, so the that the second job doesn’t start if the first one isn’t finished?”  like the google question, this one has many many answers that are not wrong.  a good example of a wrong answer though (I have learned), is “that sounds like a unix-y thing - I don’t do unix.”

ultimately it’s the apathy most employees have for their careers here on the rock is also present in the tech market.  with no real options for rapid climb in return for hard work, people are content to do what their told, and learn when sent to training.  employers are more than happy to not train anyone, and just keep paying ‘analysts’ $35k/yr to write procedural code that does nothing special.

no diamonds in this rough, and no one to throw google questions back and forth with…

time is flying by - with the holidays, the kid, and life in general, everything starts to blur together.  nothing like another reality check to make you stop and write a blog entry.

first, the highs - my blood pressure and cholesterol!  hahahaha.  not really funny, but unfortunately true.  I must have passed the magic age where youth heals all bruises over night, and processing a 12 pack of tacos is just something that happens.  the cholesterol thing really sucks, because I like to eat animals, and apparently that is not good if you want to avoid heart attacks.

to address this state, I’m trying to cut down on land animal meat - maybe once a day in small portions.  right now, this is actually having a negative effect because 1) I am constantly hungry, 2) rapid weight loss as I search for new sources of protein cause me to lose muscle mass, thus raising my body fat %, and 3) can’t take a decent shit!

that last one REALLY sucks.

other medical projects in the works;  abdominal tear (high hernia) repair scheduled for February,  and GI consult after that to confirm that my shits are diet/age related, and not due to some kind of ass cancer (again, not funny, as cancer is very common in my family, and my uncle and grandmother both have/had colon cancer).

my physicians hope is that I will be lucky enough at the GI consult to warrant an early colonoscopy, where they shove a camera through your ass.  I say through, because they don’t stop at simple penetration, and continue to violate you until they are actually near your throat.  fuck.

there are couple nice things.  the baby is doing well - almost 3.  school is treating her right, we just did a dress up day so we have a kimono shot for the 3 year blessing, and she had her first hula class.  very easy to have your life consumed by activities.  still need to work on balancing all this stuff better.

finally, the low.  out of the blue I get one of those calls - you know - one of those calls.  my neighbor who I grew up with was found in a coma, and they were going to unplug him because his organs were shutting down.  I JUST saw the guy, and now I got a phone call basically saying he was going to die within the hour.  what the fuck man.

now, while terribly tragic, no one is really over reacting.  the reason?  this day was coming for a long time.  this dude lost his way a long time ago, and was running the streets doing drugs and whatever else for the last 20 years at least.  still though, when he was home, you always wanted to be around him.  kind of a hawaii thing I guess - true extended ohana.  if he came home for christmas, all us kids could sit on the wall in front of the house, and it would be like we were young again.  in fact, he was home this last christmas, and I was jokingly calling him Jesus - the Christmas miracle.

as a parent, this is a reminder that you cannot afford to fuck up.  not that his mom did anything wrong, but like my friend who just got his daughter back from rehab says - you only get the first 18 years.  if they are off the track at that point, it ends tragically.  even at just 18 years old, his ability to correct his daughters path is doubtful.

once again, hug your kids folks.  and check for ass cancer if you can.