tales from the rock

my never ending quest to hire a subordinate continues, and it appears the only way to make this happen here is to lower the bar substantially.  this doesn’t mean hiring losers, but it may mean waiting for a superstar to emerge is not realistic.  the person we bring on just won’t have as many tools to work with.

the challenge for me then is to determine which attributes you can give up on, without it being an indicator that their overall value is seriously diminished.  it’s the difference between having a dull blade that can be sharpened, or one that is just made out of wood or plastic, which really limits your capacity for bloodshed.

I’ve also learned the truth about the ‘I can pick up that language if I need it’ lie.  maybe you can pick up the syntax and grammar, but things like best practices, patterns, etc., are things no book or website will give you.  you need to work with people that are good, and even then, you need a strong fundamental base of understanding.  if your start in this field was hacking webpages as the ‘techy guy’ in your old job, I don’t care what else you taught yourself to do all by yourself - chances are, it’s all a big mess.

the biggest issue I have with all the candidates I have seen so far, is that I never make it to the google question.

the google question used to be the microsoft question - those brain teasers you would ask to check problem solving ability, or just problem diagramming skills.  or, you could ask very obscure technical questions (implement strcpy) to see where their base of knowledge lies.  the biggest problem with these questions (among the best candidates), is that everyone has already heard them, and/or everyone has just gotten good at solving brain teasers.  google has since moved to more open ended, solution-less questions (how many phonebooks are there in the seattle area), but even then, once you know not to panic, there is almost no way to outright fail.

you can always ask someone if the know why a solution works (such as the balls and scale question, etc.), but if they don’t know the answer, what have you really learned?  they don’t pursue useless knowledge?  it’s a plus if the do, it’s not a minus if they don’t.

these people though - whew.  I’m stumping them with doozies like, “How can you set up 2 batch jobs, so the that the second job doesn’t start if the first one isn’t finished?”  like the google question, this one has many many answers that are not wrong.  a good example of a wrong answer though (I have learned), is “that sounds like a unix-y thing - I don’t do unix.”

ultimately it’s the apathy most employees have for their careers here on the rock is also present in the tech market.  with no real options for rapid climb in return for hard work, people are content to do what their told, and learn when sent to training.  employers are more than happy to not train anyone, and just keep paying ‘analysts’ $35k/yr to write procedural code that does nothing special.

no diamonds in this rough, and no one to throw google questions back and forth with…

so I’m still struggling with hiring a developer to be my slave, and I gotta tell you, the more people I talk to, the more depressed I get.  it’s amazing how poor the candidate pool is here on the rock.

I think it’s fair to say that most college programs that are spitting out ‘developers’ do a pretty shitty job.  the reason is, no one is teaching them and real CS topics, so a solid foundation in problem solving, solution design, and contruction is missing.  this fascination with toolkits and frameworks is killing the american worker.

there certainly are schools that don’t fuck around.  an engineer from Carnegie Mellon, MIT, Cal Tech, etc. will certainly be able to refactor a solution to a sort problem in 12 different ways.  the mediocre fools I get all have the same answer - ‘I can do that in 5 minutes with XXX’

that may be fine, but here is where the interview always falls apart.  no matter how simple the problem, I can amend it by saying, ‘what if you have 10 minutes?’ and these fuckers are stumped.  there is nothing worse than having nothing to say.  it’s just barely worse than spouting a bunch of BS about moving on in the methodology, but nothing is the absolute worst!  hell, you could even say, ‘use the 5 minutes to chug 2 beers,’ and you’re ahead of the game.

here’s an example of a problem I like to start with - gives me lots of directions to go in:  put together a web based lookup app, that reads from a single table in a database, and presents the results in a table that I can then filter, sort, or page.  depending on the candidate, I may hold off on the extras, just to see if they automatically think to include it, or to give them a chance to ask.

for the record, I’m doing a lot of .NET, and yes, in 5 minutes I could have this running without writing a single line of code.  but what happens if I have 10 minutes - or really - what happens if I have a 10 minute problem?

these people that rely on their toolkits, classlibs, plugins, or whatever else they are using can’t solve problems.  all they can do is match square pegs with corresponding holes.  this isn’t even about understanding the science/mechanics behind the requests.  fundamentally, if you don’t know what the technology is trying to do, then you can’t make it do your bidding.

I don’t care if up till now, you’ve never had a problem painting all your data on one page.  the fact is, there are times when you will have to sort through millions of rows - it’s not done daily here, but it’s done, and you can’t rely on a select statement that included every column using a string compare and a stack of %%s!

it is very clear to me though, that the local employers shoulder most of this blame.  their is no candidate pool, because no one is developing candidates - us included.  what I need to do, is stop trying to look for a great candidate to fill my one seat, and get a little more money (also known as ‘investment’) and fill 2 with people to develop.  eventually, one will move on, because I won’t treat them the same, and our contribution to the market will be a candidate with a couple more skills, and an empty seat to fill, without losing any total productivity I need for business continuity.

ultimately, good people aren’t out looking at job postings - they are out creating roles for themselves, or being recruited to do specific work.  we don’t have the sponsorship to overpay a great candidate, so we have to develop a couple that show potential, but NEVER settle for someone mediocre, that just managed to fail to suck at their interview.

bleh.

so the much anticipated Hawaii Superferry had a soft launch this past weekend, and once again, Hawaii took a chance to shine on a national stage, and pissed it away.

‘dozens’ of surfers and canoes met the ferry at the harbor entrance to block it’s path.  once finally docked, the people of the ‘friendly isle’ proceeded to block card, harass passengers, and ultimately make fools out of themselves.

these ‘protesters’ believe they are doing this on behalf of the Aina - protecting the land, and ocean resources from further damage due to man’s footprint.  in reality, they are probably being used as pawns by commercial interest who don’t like to see a piece of their monopoly taken away.

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so I have to hire someone to be my slave. basic slavery really - clean up some code, manage some apps, do some upgrades. if the person turns out to be a proper minion, I will allow them to do use the bathroom, and maybe eat.

the best part is, my list of desireable qualifications is long, and the compensation package I have to offer sucks.

what I have going for me, is that this is Hawaii - not a lot of options out there. the biggest thing working against me - this is Hawaii - not a lot of options out there. (more…)

I think it’s time to convert my portfolio into one that looks like it came out of a magazine - small mix of funds, and a few blue chippers here and there.  active trading is doing me no good these days.

one of the biggest problems, is that to catch the opening of the market, I have to wake up at 4:00 am HST.  that’s just not going to happen.

culturally, it seems like people in Hawaii - at least my family/friends, and coworkers here at the ‘hou - are just not tuned in to the market.  not like the bay area tech crowd I used to hang with.  I wouldn’t say we were addicted to money, but the market was definitely fun.  just an extension of gambling I guess.

so what happens is that 1) I start to ignore whole sections of my portfolio, 2) no chit-chat means no leads or shared research, and 3) bad impulsive moves around market activity.

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I don’t normally repost internet crap, or forward lame messages around - don’t want to clog the pipes, but somehow this one found it’s way into my secret email account…. suspicious yes, but I thought worth posting:

Subject: FRIENDS VS. HAWAIIAN FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.

FRIENDS: Will say “hello”.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing and just
being together.

FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds’ ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “I’m home!”

FRIENDS: Are for a while.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
HAWAIIAN FRIENDS: Will forward this

yes yes - I feel all true.  too bad all my hawaiian friends live in california.

I really didn’t want to write anything negative about christmas. so much happened that was really nice, I thought I could just get away with a simple recap of the day. wouldn’t be a day on the rock without some gravy though - at least it didn’t belong to me.

day started fine, if not a little late (which actually makes it better.) the kid starts to open the first of the hundreds of presents while the family eats breakfast and watches. soon enough, baby starts to wear out, so the family leaves, and we all try and take a nap before heading out to various parties and events.

around noon, the wife tells me she has been hearing water running on the side of the house, so I went out to have a look. nothing on our house, but it appears as if the neighbor’s house has a storm system under it, as water is pouring out of the walls and floor (post and beam.) the adventure begins.

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hawaii (the state, or at least the city & county of honolulu) needs a logistician - or whatever you would call an expert in logistics. similar to what is known as a ‘fixer’.

let me explain:

in the last year, there have been 3 or 4 events where the island has basically shut down, due to large, but not unexpected happenings.

1. truck overturns on H1 east bound at king street onramp, effective shutting down east bound traffic for 5 hours.
2. truck runs into overpass on H1 west bound, shutting down west bound traffic for 10+ hours!
3. earthquake triggers island wide power outage, which shuts everything down for about a day
4. not as important, but Aloha Stadium hosts sold out concert - gridlock around the stadium for hours, and parking facilities woefully inadequate - can’t even support all ticket owners

now, the first 2 are traffic related issues, but are not rooted in traffice itself. in fact all these things are related to 1 big problem - communication. even if there is not planning in place, if there was a reasonable method of communicating to people what is going on, things would be much better. but that is a band aid, let me address the problem.

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