tales from the rock

check out this article on finding passion in your job.

Tom pretty much lives his life by those 5 steps, and as we all know, he is the most passionate man on the planet.

so the baby has been in school for almost a year, and it’s amazing how quickly she learns by playing with all these other bright kids.  some of it is no so goo, but some things are diabolically cute.

part of the daily ritual of school, is the daily progress report.  mostly just a 1 sentence recap of the day’s activities, but also a breakdown of mealtime - how much was eaten of each food category (entree, veg, starch, fruit, milk, juice, etc.)  the baby usually does a bad job at vegetables, but she makes up for it at home, so we don’t really pay too much attention to it.

at some point, she would occasionally get a star drawn near the food section, and she started reporting that she was a ’star eater’.  I guess coincidentally,  we probably noticed on days when most or all of the vegetables were eaten.  Because she was a star eater, we’d treat her to something - maybe some jumba juice, or french fries - whatever.  (maybe not such a great idea to reward good eating habits with junk food!)

anyway, since I usually do the pickup, I also noticed there wasn’t much of a consistency to the star eater award, although the baby ALWAYS knew she had a star on her report.  Sometimes only ‘few’ vegetables were eaten and a star was rewarded, sometimes EVERYTHING was eaten, but no start.  I thought maybe there was a behavioral component, or maybe the effort exuded in conquering a tough food item was given extra credit.  her actual teacher isn’t always there when I pick up, and since it wasn’t such a big deal, when she was, I would forget to ask.

so I was picking up the other day and happened to pull out her report next to a mom whose son is in the same class, and while they had the exact same eating boxes checked, my report had a star, and hers didn’t.   I asked if she knew the criteria, and she claims to have NEVER received a star.  this now concerns the mom, because when you are using this kind of pre-school to inject your kid into a private school, the last thing you want to be is short on stars!

the teacher happened to be there, so we went in to resolve the mystery of the ’star eater’ once and for all!  so I basically ask, what’s the criteria for being a ’star eater?’

and teacher responds, “the kids ask me to draw stars on their papers, so I do…”

these diabolical 2 and 3 year olds MADE THE WHOLE THING UP!  there is no ’star eater’ award.   seems like it’s mostly the girls (which is why the other mom had never seen a star), and when a teacher is sitting near them at lunch (they will sit in different spots every day), they ask them to draw the stars, and they call themselves star eaters!

the teachers thought it was hilarious of course, since we have been basically using this as a reason for praise for the entire year - kind of typical of the private school parent neurosis, over analyzing everything the kids do.  they had just thought it was innocent fun the whole time.

we haven’t really broken it to the baby that the gig is up, but she is having a tougher time now when she is a ’smiley face eater’, or a ‘christmas tree eater’, and not just a star eater.

although part of me thinks she deserves just as much reward for manufacturing this scam all on her own….

french fries for everyone!

I was going to write about my day yesterday, and how I had 1 great experience, and 1 awful one, but it turns out the awful one was actually not so awful, so instead, I will just give you the rundown.

the good part happened early (thankfully), and in case you haven’t seen it yet, here it is.  I love a great story about sports, and sportsmanship stories are unfortunately few and far between.  I can’t help to wonder though if it would have still happened on a mens team.  there still might have been a great story, but it would have probably been about the runner gutting it out somehow, taking 20 minutes to drag himself around the bases, permanently disfiguring himself in the process.  certainly no giggling involved.

and not to be a debbie downer, but let’s not gloss over the fact that a)  if you pay attention, you wouldn’t have missed a base, and b) if the ball was out of the park, how fast do you really need to run?  certainly not so fast that a hard stop would fuck up your knee.

the awful part was going to be about my afternoon at a Microsoft launch event.  I like to attend these things for the free schwag (nice insulated lunch bag - thank you Mr. Gates), and also because the evangelist demos are usually pretty good.  while they tend to be oversimplified, and cover areas I don’t work in, it’s good to see a scripted demo that purposely takes advantage of the key features of a product.

unfortunately, all the demo yesterday did was hurt my brain.

there is a new Visual Studio coming out, and while the new features aren’t really language extensions to make say, C# any better, they are great productivity enhancers, and if you are using visual studio, you’re doing it because of things like Intellisense, code formatting, etc.  maybe this guy (or his script writer) was overthinking it when they put this demo together and assumed all us ‘hard core techies’ didn’t want to see a demo of such fluffy features, but it would have been much better than what they did put on.

first of all, they went into this whole thing about ‘what is AJAX’ - certainly something that shouldn’t take longer than 3 seconds for us ‘133t h@x0r5′.  they managed to take 30 minutes to do that, while also including such incorrect gems as ‘AJAX reduces number of requests the server has to handle.’

then they went into a demo with VS08 that basically used products and features available in VS05 - totally glossing over javascript intellisense, code formatting, etc.  Even the split screen editor windows and CSS management (which is really great) was given just a word mention.  now, I understand you can only talk so much about intellisense, but the culmination of the demo (2 hrs later) was the dude trying to fit 75 minutes of real useful development (windows workflow construction) into 10 minutes of time - what a fucking waste.  they should have focused on the big construction, and maybe added some bits to showcase new features that wouldn’t have otherwise been covered.

on top of all of that, everytime the guy would declare a variable, he would say, “OK, I’ll ‘dimension’ this integer.”  I kept thinking he was moron, since DIM means “Declare In Memory.”  personally, once someone makes a gaffe like this, it destroys their credibility (especially since he kept saying it out loud!)  it’s like the convention I was at last week, where one person was talking about the next version of the product - version 4, but kept saying version EYE VEE, since the version was denoted with roman numerals (IV), or the people that insist on a strict grammatical use of the word data (plural of datum), and create sentences that are correct, but not commonly heard, fucking up most of the room - “your data are corrupted.”  once you have identified a speaker as one of these jokers, everything else they say is static, and subject to mocking.   it didn’t help that I was there with PG, and that guy loves to make fun of every speaker that isn’t him.

anyway, I did make sure to check myself on this, and it turns out, maybe the dude was wrong at all.  in VB (all BASICs really), DIM does stand for Dimension - has to do with array declaration.  Declare In Memory is an assembler term (which proves SOME of what I learned in that class has been retained).  I’m quite sure this dude doesn’t know assembler though (like me), and was probably saying ‘dimension’, just to bait someone (like me) to challenge his use so he could show everyone how smart he was.  ultimately,  he’s not a moron, just a pretentious ass.

so the moral of the story is, always check your facts and assumptions.

and be a good sport.

and if you gave away an XBox during the morning session, but don’t plan on giving away one in the afternoon session, please say something, so the people just waiting for the xbox giveaway to happen don’t leave even ANGRIER than they already were, free insulated tote or not.

hawaiian holiday today - one of the benefits of working at a school.  I thought I was going to have all kinds of time to finish some chores and projects, but the baby is out of school this week also, so I was super dad today.

we ended up going to Sea Life Park to watch the dolphin show.  it’s amazing how crowded this place is again, and can you believe they charge tourists $30/person to get in!!  kama’aina only pay $14, but when you consider this place is just a glorified aquarium, it seems pretty steep.

the place has also changed into more of an interactive experience - where they can charge you another $5-$10 every chance they get to feed some lettuce to a turtle, or throw a fish to a sea lion.  and of course, $150 gets you into the pool with the dolphins.

I’m not sure how cool I am with this.  on one hand, this place was a dump on the verge of closing for so many years, I’m glad they found a way to revitalize, and take care of their animals.  they do scientific research also, but I’m pretty sure most of that involves research into crowd pleasing tricks.

on the other hand though, now that they are doing well, it seems like they are adding animals to their collection!  they aren’t catching wild animals anymore, but still, I wonder if it’s still ok to watch animals living in a strange environment jump over poles.

I think what we’ll have to do is supplement the experience of the park, with some real life ocean information, or some beach cleanup service or something.

all part of the grooming of the superchild, so I will be well taken care of in the future.

happy Kuhio day.

damn, nothing posted in forever.  it’s funny how low a priority this is when I really need to work on my writing.  I thought that by stating I would do this, then I would do this, but my life is interrupt driven, and the blog never issues a break!  I will not attempt to resolve this by using my GTD skills and booking a reminder every day to blog.  I also picked up one of Scott Adams non-comic book books, which is basically a printed version of his blog - clearly, you don’t need to have anything profound to say to blog daily.

what has been going on?  work is busy.  fulfilling, yet busy.  since I don’t work at a tech company anymore, it’s hard to really get a feel for what my skills are like, or where my current competence lies.  like the G, I often wish that I could do some hard core shit, and force my brain to move into that 15% activity range.  unlike the G, real life wakes me up every morning at 6:00am wanting to watch Dora the Explorer.  I can say that on the rock, I have come to accept that I will always be closer to the top of the mountain than the bottom.  the candidate pool here sucks.  I actually managed to hire a dude to work with me, but he only lasted 3 weeks!  can you believe that shit?!?  it is most definitely not rocket science here - not even computer science for that matter.  web development - that’s what it is.  lot’s of curve balls, but still, basic skillz will get you through the day.  after 8 months of searching, we found a guy that was tolerable, and after 3 weeks, he had had enough!

something else I have been meaning to do, is copy the blog entries of the King of the Court.  for some reason, our lives have been strangely parallel lately.  he had posted an eerie picture of himself sitting at his dining room table, with his computer, with some framed wedding cranes behind him.  when I looked at the pic, I was sitting at MY dining room table, using my laptop, which is the EXACT SAME COMPUTER, sitting in front of our framed wedding cranes. unlike the King, I was shirtless, because on the rock, that’s just how I roll.

the other similarity is trenching.  what an odd thing to be doing at the same time.  I had to finish my backyard projects so the baby could finally play outside, so I dug a few hundred feet of irrigation and drainage trench, installed a sprinkle system and drain, brought in some topsoil, sod, and also ordered 2000 pounds of rubber playground mulch for the swingset.  backyard is decent now - only 85% more outdoor projects to go before my house is not embarrassing.

tons of horriblenes going on as usual, but I don’t want to get too far into it lest I abandon yet another post, so I will leave it at this.  see you tomorrow.

time is flying by - with the holidays, the kid, and life in general, everything starts to blur together.  nothing like another reality check to make you stop and write a blog entry.

first, the highs - my blood pressure and cholesterol!  hahahaha.  not really funny, but unfortunately true.  I must have passed the magic age where youth heals all bruises over night, and processing a 12 pack of tacos is just something that happens.  the cholesterol thing really sucks, because I like to eat animals, and apparently that is not good if you want to avoid heart attacks.

to address this state, I’m trying to cut down on land animal meat - maybe once a day in small portions.  right now, this is actually having a negative effect because 1) I am constantly hungry, 2) rapid weight loss as I search for new sources of protein cause me to lose muscle mass, thus raising my body fat %, and 3) can’t take a decent shit!

that last one REALLY sucks.

other medical projects in the works;  abdominal tear (high hernia) repair scheduled for February,  and GI consult after that to confirm that my shits are diet/age related, and not due to some kind of ass cancer (again, not funny, as cancer is very common in my family, and my uncle and grandmother both have/had colon cancer).

my physicians hope is that I will be lucky enough at the GI consult to warrant an early colonoscopy, where they shove a camera through your ass.  I say through, because they don’t stop at simple penetration, and continue to violate you until they are actually near your throat.  fuck.

there are couple nice things.  the baby is doing well - almost 3.  school is treating her right, we just did a dress up day so we have a kimono shot for the 3 year blessing, and she had her first hula class.  very easy to have your life consumed by activities.  still need to work on balancing all this stuff better.

finally, the low.  out of the blue I get one of those calls - you know - one of those calls.  my neighbor who I grew up with was found in a coma, and they were going to unplug him because his organs were shutting down.  I JUST saw the guy, and now I got a phone call basically saying he was going to die within the hour.  what the fuck man.

now, while terribly tragic, no one is really over reacting.  the reason?  this day was coming for a long time.  this dude lost his way a long time ago, and was running the streets doing drugs and whatever else for the last 20 years at least.  still though, when he was home, you always wanted to be around him.  kind of a hawaii thing I guess - true extended ohana.  if he came home for christmas, all us kids could sit on the wall in front of the house, and it would be like we were young again.  in fact, he was home this last christmas, and I was jokingly calling him Jesus - the Christmas miracle.

as a parent, this is a reminder that you cannot afford to fuck up.  not that his mom did anything wrong, but like my friend who just got his daughter back from rehab says - you only get the first 18 years.  if they are off the track at that point, it ends tragically.  even at just 18 years old, his ability to correct his daughters path is doubtful.

once again, hug your kids folks.  and check for ass cancer if you can.

• friend with addict kid doing ok.  rehab costs WAY more than college.
• another friend just had a stroke!  don’t forget to live life
• work is fucking busy.  doesn’t help that I insisted on dumping losers, leaving only me
• very hard to hire developers in Hawaii, yet no one willing to pay for good people thus further depressing the market
• work life balance is terrible.  no time for blogging and other personal development tasks.  next year will be different!

interesting article about being a good father.  nothing revolutionary in my mind here, and not a scientific review at all, but always nice to see someone else on the same page as you.

lot’s of discussion tombo and I have is around #s 4, 5 and 7.  not so much about us, but our observations of other parents in our families.

4. Staying involved:  this really boils down to being around.  you shouldn’t use the time your kid is doing something to do something else.

5. Scheduling family recreation: the work week is busy.  while it may not be any less hectic for you if your weekend revolves around entertaining your kid, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.  playtime is for everyone.

7. Creating family rituals: directly related to 4 and 5 (although not necessarily dedicated to playtime), this one also helps you to manage a full schedule.  however, if your ritual is bundling up your kid’s stuff so grandma can watch him while you go out and play, you missed the point.

http://ririanproject.com/2007/10/25/the-7-habits-of-highly-successful-fathers/

reading the tales from the court, I can tell that tombo is falling into the full time parent trap. of course, based on my philosophy, this is the appropriate way to raise your kids. comments like:

• but i now understand whats it like to come home exhausted… and then have to work with the kids.. and be with the kids..
• I noticed how my free time is now spent with the kid..
  Basically all time that you had for yourself is now for the kid. 

you can see how he has rewired his mind to always wonder about the kid.  the popular opinion is that this is a genetic trait, programmed into our mammalian brains to ensure survival of the species.  I think our modern society and gluttonous behavior has erased that though…

it’s truly odd to me how caring for your kids becomes a conscious choice for some people. the wifey certainly has less patience with the baby than I do, but even if she is frustrated, she doesn’t stop. even watching the other privileged kids in the preschool - you can certainly tell which ones are raised by active, attentive parents, which ones are raised by people who think discipline=yelling at the kid till they get it right, and of course, which ones are raised by grandma and grandpa. 

tom should have 2 more kids so we can do a true scientific study….

in other news, warren G’s move to Japan is on hold pending receipt of his visa.  he is expressing his rage by destroying fine stemware whenever he gets the chance.

so they say things happen in threes, and the 3rd lost soul has been identified.

it started with the G, trying to find meaning in relationships and his place in this world.  he is off to Japan soon, on an adventure of a lifetime, if he can only find the life he wants to lead.

my P/MIT grad coworker found the guts to put in his notice (anyone want to work for me at the P?).  13 years at the P, 6 or 7 at MIT earning 3 degrees, and all the guy would do every day is feel shitty about the way he was treated at work by all these people who were below his station.  not sure he’s making a real strong move towards independance, but he’s off to Austin to work with a successful friend on a startup.

finally, soogs called me up yesterday to tell me his pops was getting remarried!  soogs mom died a while ago of brain cancer, and it totally destroyed his dad.  the guy couldn’t even stay on the rock anymore, so he picked up and moved to Oregon.  the awkward thing right now is that soogs doesn’t know much about this lady, except that they met online, she’s french, and lives in Utah!  whatever the circumstance, it’s a bold move.  he’s been wandering for a while now, and a decision like this so late in life can’t be easy.  maybe he will be the superstar of the bunch.

pops soogs decision has no safety net, and no ulterior motive.  he asks for no approval, and risks all that he has left.  granted - it may not be all that much he has left, but it’s now on the line.

good luck to all these soul searchers, and life livers.